


Fool

by flootzavut



Series: Through The Looking Glass [1]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Canon Era, Episode Related, Episode: s04e01 Welcome to Korea, First Kiss, First Time, Humour, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Shower Sex, Smut, Swamp(y) Kisses, Swamp(y) Sex, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-07 22:21:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15229197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: "... it will probably never occur to him that Hawk is mentally writing his name in an exercise book with a little heart dotting the i..."A "what if?" of Welcome to Korea.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts), [PrairieDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrairieDawn/gifts).



> Special thanks to PrairieDawn for giving me a _major_ piece (to come later) that made this work.
> 
> If you want the genesis of this story, please check out the notes in the series description, but besides "this is an AU but only in a couple of respects", you don't actually need to know.

* * *

_**Fool** _

* * *

 

Hawk's only hope for his jaunt to Kimpo was to say goodbye to Trapper, but although that fails, meeting one bright-eyed, bushy-tailed captain by the name of BJ Hunnicutt might almost redeem the day. BJ surprises him and backs him up seamlessly at every turn, and by the time they get back to camp, Hawkeye is sure he has a new friend and a little afraid he's in danger of falling for a man who's such a straight arrow, it will probably never occur to him that Hawk is mentally writing his name in an exercise book with a little heart dotting the i, like a schoolgirl with a crush, like the fool he is.

All things considered, when BJ cups his jaw and kisses him halfway down their third Martinis (in addition to all the sake and beer they got through at Rosie's), Hawk could hardly be more shocked or delighted.

The alcohol that lowered their inhibitions to negligible isn't conducive to anything more than a lot of making out and touching, but it's easily the best night Hawk's had since Frank took command. When he wakes up next morning to BJ warm and rumpled in his bed, he laughs outright. Trap's gone, and that still hurts, but Hawk never imagined he could wake up the day after Trapper went home and feel so good.

BJ was cute as a button in his dress uniform, all neat and tidy and well-pressed in the Kimpo O club, but Hawkeye decides he likes this look better, if only because the messy hair and the half undone shirt are his own work, and testament to a most enjoyable evening. He kisses BJ's jaw and nose and eyelid and cheekbone, then nips and nuzzles up under his chin to find the spot that made a drunken BJ throw his head back and whine.

It has a similar effect now. BJ shudders and stretches, winds a hand into the back of Hawk's hair and yanks (it's Hawkeye's turn to whine), presses closer to Hawk's body, and lets out a low grunt.

Hawk looks up in time to see BJ's eyes blink open, and half expects him to freak out at finding himself in bed with another guy. Experience says that who a person is willing to kiss when drunk, tired and scared is not always the same as when they're awake and sober. But BJ just squints at Hawk for a moment, then smiles (God, that smile), and doesn't seem worried or angry or even surprised to see Hawk looking back at him.

Holy fuck, he's so pretty. Living in a tent with this man is going to be an interesting challenge. He's ridiculous; if the rest of him looks anything like as good as his face, as good as he felt last night through clothing and a haze of alcohol, Hawk's gonna have his work cut out not to stare like a teenaged fool all the time. Though it's the way BJ looks at him and touches his jaw that really takes Hawk's breath away.

He daren't make assumptions, though. "Hey," he says.

"Hey."

BJ smiles even wider and warmer, his gaze flicking down to Hawk's lips and back again. Hawk's mouth goes dry, but he really needs to check what's happening, whether they're both on the same page or even in the same book.

"I... Hey. I - look, I'm not reading into anything here." God, this is awkward. "If it - last night, I mean - if it was... you know, a drunken, just-arrived-in-Korea thing, that's okay," he says, with a sincerity he doesn't remotely feel.

BJ searches his face for a second, expression suddenly serious. "Yeah?"

Hawk swallows back his disappointment. "Yeah."

"And if it wasn't?"

There's a moment of silence, of Hawk staring at BJ, and a wicked grin that tweaks at BJ's lips before blooming into delighted amusement.

"What if it was 'Just-arrived-in-Korea and my new colleague somehow got me back to the MASH unit in one piece, he's funny and a little crazy and an incredible doctor, and he's so hot I can't think straight'?" BJ adds, his voice low and warm and full of humour.

Hawk gapes at him, more wrong-footed than he's been in as long as he can remember.

BJ slides a hand over his cheek and up into his hair again, then pulls gently, tugging him into a kiss. It starts tentatively, like somehow BJ isn't certain of his reception, like he's yet to realise Hawk's been utterly taken with him ever since he said 'Rudyard Kipling', allowed Hawk to steal his captain's bars, and flawlessly followed Hawk's lead.

Hawk whimpers (actually whimpers) and parts his lips, and BJ takes the invitation, and they're kissing deep and hungry and hot, and BJ presses Hawk back into the cot and his body is heavy on Hawk's, and it's as good as it was last night, only... better. Because this is sober, because this isn't just two lonely, scared, drunken people, because BJ clearly (so clearly) wants Hawk just as much as Hawk wants him. And Hawk would never have guessed, when BJ was following him around like a baby duck trailing after its mom, that BJ had this much courage and assertiveness, and Hawk might already be in love.

Eventually BJ pulls back. "I could do this all day," he says, his voice husky, "but I guess that's not such a great idea in the middle of an army camp once people start getting up."

Hawk chuckles. "You guess right."

BJ leans in to leave one more brief, tempting kiss on Hawk's mouth. "Later," he says, like a promise, and Hawk can't wipe away his dopey grin.

"Later," he agrees.


	2. Chapter 2

'Later' turns out to be much later, when Korea decides to give BJ a taste of coming attractions. After new wounded and post-op rounds and yet more wounded, not to mention some truly horrific mess tent fare, most of the camp ends up in the O Club getting pleasantly sloshed. Hawk and BJ prop each other up, and it's almost like having Trapper back, except Trap rarely let Hawk be this casually affectionate, and Trap had a wife and kids back home (even if he wasn't especially devoted to them), and Hawk never had the promise of no Frank Burns and a kiss and 'Later' to hold on to all at the same time.

Eventually they head back to the Swamp, arms slung around each other's shoulders. Given Hawk's typical behaviour around anyone and everyone at the 4077th, he figures no one will think anything of it, but he knows better and it puts a spring in his step.

When they get back inside and the door is closed safely behind them, tent sides let down against prying eyes, BJ turns to look at him and smiles.

Hawk is still blindsided by that smile, and wonders if he'll ever actually get used to it. Then BJ's cupping his face in both hands and leaning in, and BJ Hunnicutt smiling might be enough to make Hawkeye swoon, but BJ Hunnicutt kissing him leaves him positively weak.

They stumble and stagger over to Hawk's cot, and it's a riot of lips and hands and laughter, of boots being toed off and BJ's mouth on his, of trying to fit two men into a cot designed to be only vaguely comfortable for one, of fingers in hair and accidental knees in places they have no right being, and it's wonderful.

Once they're settled in the bed, the thin blanket providing less warmth than they're giving one another, they stick with lazy making out until Hawk's ready to either burst or fall asleep - he's honestly not sure which is more likely. Exhaustion and arousal are fighting a pitched battle, and though he only met BJ yesterday, it feels like they've known each other forever, and it's more comfortable than it has any right to be. Hawk's sure if he fell asleep mid-kiss, BJ would forgive him.

That's not to say he doesn't let out a heartfelt groan when BJ tugs at his belt and says, "Can I?"

"God, yes," Hawk manages, then, "thought you'd never ask."

He doesn't quite hit the jokey tone he's aiming for (BJ's soft laughter says he's not fooled for a moment), but BJ's hands are deft and quick and inside his pants, and he no longer cares.

"That's it," BJ murmurs when Hawk bucks into his grip, "that's it."

Hawk means to return the favour, he really does, but BJ has good hands in bed as well as in the OR, and it turns out it's all Hawk can do to grasp at BJ's clothing and moan into his mouth and ear and neck.

"I've got you," BJ says, "it's okay, I've got you," like he's calming a horse that got spooked, and in a different situation it might seem downright odd, but in the middle of Korea it's exactly the right thing to say. Hawk buries his face in BJ's shoulder and sobs out his release in deep, shuddering breaths. When he comes back to himself, BJ's kissing his hairline and stroking a hand up and down his spine. Hawk never thought he'd feel so safe here, but somehow BJ's touch is as comforting as a homemade quilt.

He doesn't know how to say thank you (let alone 'My God, you're actually perfect, how is it possible?'), so he kisses BJ instead, warm and heartfelt, then goes for his fatigues.

"You don't have to," BJ says.

Hawk laughs. "Have to? Screw have to, I want to."

"Yeah?"

"Trust me, I've been wondering what sounds you make when you come since halfway down my first bourbon in Kimpo."

Apparently that's the right thing to say, because BJ lets out a choked sound, surprise and arousal all rolled into one desperate moan, and Hawkeye laughs again.

His hands are shaking, but he manages to get into BJ's pants and skivvies and there he is, hot and hard and so good. "I wanted to touch you all day," Hawk admits. "Wanted to proposition you in the chow line and grope you at lunch and  _God_ , could've gotten down on my knees for you when I realised you were a real surgeon, a really fucking good doctor."

BJ makes an incoherent begging noise.

"You're beautiful," Hawk murmurs without meaning to, the words tumbling out unbidden, "BJ, you're gorgeous, I want... God, I want to  _keep_  you..."

He shouldn't say stuff like this - wanting to keep anyone in wartime is a risky notion, never mind another man - but he has barely any control over his mouth, so he does the only thing he can think of to shut himself up and kisses BJ hard, bites his lip, then it's BJ's turn to whimper and come to pieces in Hawk's hand. Hawk swallows every groan and whine, greedy for it, and he's already thinking about taking BJ in his mouth, about going on R&R and having time and privacy for so much more than is possible here, and it's terrifying, because the providence that assigned BJ to the 4077th could just as easily take him away again.

Eventually BJ pulls back, panting. They lie there forehead to forehead as they come down from the high of sex.

"Shit, Hawkeye," BJ says at last. "Holy shit."

Hawk laughs. "Me too." He runs a hand through BJ's hair, down the side of his face. BJ smiles under his fingers, then yawns hugely. "It's okay," Hawk says. "Long day."

"Mmhm." BJ pulls him in close and nuzzles into the top of his hair, and Hawk reaches up to turn off the light. They're messy and sticky and he does not care. He feels better than he has since he arrived in Korea, and at least for one night, he's going to hold on tight to this feeling and to BJ, safe and warm and satisfied.

"Hawkeye?" BJ whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

Hawkeye smiles into BJ's neck. "I'm really glad you're here, too."


	3. Chapter 3

Sleeping in BJ's arms again gives Hawkeye the most restful night he's had in longer than he can remember. It almost makes up for being rudely woken at dawn with still more wounded, although getting out of bed when that also means disentangling himself from a sleepy, ruffled BJ goes against every desire and instinct in his whole body. He wants to stay here for the rest of his life.

It delights him on a visceral level that BJ is similarly reluctant, clinging to Hawkeye and protesting vehemently against the separation.

"Me too, fella," Hawk whispers. He can't resist a kiss, warm and soft, and tearing himself away from BJ's mouth is even worse than extricating himself from BJ's arms. Hawk hasn't wanted to hold on to someone this bad since Carlye, and given how that turned out, he's a little petrified. It doesn't stop him revelling in it, though. He's addicted already, can't get enough of BJ's tongue and lips, could do this forever.

Well, he could if they didn't have to move. Hawk hates the war more and more, even though without it, he would never have met BJ in the first place.

"BJ," he murmurs against BJ's mouth, "there's more wounded. We gotta get up."

It thrills Hawk more than is at all wise when BJ whines in a petulant teenager way that perfectly reflects Hawk's own feelings on the matter. Hawk grins as he peels himself out of the bed and strips off his shirt and its incriminating evidence of last night.

"C'mon, sleepyhead." He strokes his fingers through BJ's hair. "Wounded now, sex later if you're good."

He can't resist saying it, tone tongue in cheek but sentiment entirely sincere, and it makes his heart beat a little faster that BJ's reaction is to sit up even before he's managed to open his eyes.

"Attaboy. More wounded - get used to it."

BJ pouts. (It's adorable.) "If I'd known how badly this war would screw with my lazy mornings," he says through a yawn, "I never woulda let them sweet talk me into coming." He grabs Hawkeye to pull himself to his feet.

"Tell me about it."

BJ doesn't look so obviously post-coital, just rumpled, though the way he watches Hawk pull on his clean shirt is... intense.

They stand there for a moment, then BJ dips down to leave a sweet, brief kiss on Hawk's lips, and it's all Hawkeye can do to keep his legs under him. He's so, so screwed here.

"Let's go be heroes," BJ says, with an expression Hawk can't quite place, then the moment is over and they're heading out to greet the incoming ambulances.

* * *

Their day isn't much less busy than the one before, but BJ is getting into the swing of it now, finding his feet, and they're finding a rhythm together in more than one way.

Today, Hawk feels able to grab BJ and kiss him whenever there's a moment of privacy, and all told it turns what could easily have been just another long, wearying day into one filled with grins and private laughter and shared triumph, and a moment in the scrub room where Hawk very nearly drops to his knees to do things that would earn him a dishonourable discharge.

There's a lull after lunch, and he drags BJ into the supply shed, but the place gets way too much traffic in the daytime. It  _is_  more private than anywhere else would be, but that means the kiss gets heated enough to make things interesting just in time for someone to try the door.

"Hey, I need penicillin!"

It's Kellye. (Hawk's relieved - if it were Margaret, they'd be in deep shit.)

"Sorry!" he calls out. He shoves BJ away (and is thankful BJ has the sense to scurry behind a set of shelves and start rifling through supplies like that's what they were in here for) and opens the door. "Sorry, Kellye, busy day. I was asleep on my feet and-"

He stops short. He can't think of a good way to finish that sentence, so he smiles and shrugs instead.

Kellye gives him a look he tends to think of as 'Whatever you say, Dr Pierce' (she's picked up more from Margaret than she realises), but bustles in to get her penicillin and disappears again without a second glance.

Once she's gone, he flops back against the door. BJ peers around the shelf, and Hawk offers a weak smile.

"Guess I should keep my hands to myself," BJ says with a wry grin of his own.

"I'd rather you didn't."

BJ laughs. He strolls over and leans in for a soft kiss, full of promise. "In the interests of not getting convicted," he murmurs against Hawk's lips, "I'll try and dig up a little bit of self-control."

"Just a little, though, yeah?"

BJ laughs. "Yeah, just a bit."

* * *

By the evening, when things have calmed down some, Hawk is exhausted. He doesn't even want to go and get drunk at the O Club or at Rosie's. He just wants to fall into bed, preferably with BJ, give in to the sexual tension that's been building between them all day, then fall into exhausted, satisfied sleep.

Hell, he'd settle for sleep, if sex is off the table. He's yet to be convinced last night wasn't an aberration, despite the kisses and laughter they've shared, but if he gets to sleep in BJ's arms, he'll be okay with resolving the sexual tension part solo.

He doesn't say any of this to BJ, just jerks his head in the direction of the Swamp and is quietly delighted when BJ follows his lead. There's no one around, so when BJ slips an arm around him, Hawk gives in to temptation and rests his head on BJ's shoulder.

BJ laughs softly and presses his mouth into Hawk's hair, and if it weren't for the army tents and the war down the road (if it weren't for how if Frank saw them, they would get arrested), they could be any pair of lovers enjoying each other's company on the way home.

When they get inside, BJ cradles Hawk's face and treats him to a gentle kiss, then he's looking intently at Hawk, practically studying him.

Hawk gulps. "What?"

"I need a shower," BJ says, voice even but eyes dark on Hawk's face. "You coming?"

Hawk gulps again. He doesn't trust his own judgement, but this seems... promising. "Yes," he chokes out, like a schoolboy whose voice is breaking, then he gathers his shower necessities and follows BJ back out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Going to the shower tent together shouldn't be a big deal, probably isn't a big deal outside of Hawkeye's head, but BJ has gotten under his skin so fast.

It isn't even the first time, but it's the first time they haven't been rushing and still half asleep and getting hassled to shower faster by whoever was waiting to be next. And the look BJ gave him... God, he hopes he's reading this right.

Hawk wants, he wants all kinds of things, scary things, because he has no idea how to successfully navigate the kind of real relationship he's afraid he's starting to hanker for. But most immediately, he wants to touch BJ a lot, to kiss BJ a lot, and to look at BJ a lot. While he won't make assumptions about the first two happening except in the relative safety of the Swamp at night, they have the closest equivalent to privacy available outside their tent, and showers equal naked equal Hawk is extremely close to losing any semblance of cool he has left. He hopes like hell BJ has in mind what Hawk thinks he has in mind, but even if this is just a shower...

He didn't get the chance to really ogle BJ yet, and he's trembling with anticipation, an eighth of an inch away from doing something incredibly gauche. His blood is buzzing in his veins like he's reverted to teenagerhood, and he hopes to a God he doesn't much believe in that he won't say or do anything too stupid.

It's one of those rare occasions where he's a little shy of stripping, where he's so desperate to make a good impression he suddenly wonders if he should suck in his stomach or puff out his chest, or really whether it would be best for his ego if he left off showering next door to fucking Adonis. In the end he tells himself not to be a complete ass, and eventually he's naked and in his cubicle and ready to go. Then he makes the mistake of glancing sideways, and God, he was not wrong; while he's living in close quarters with BJ Hunnicutt, he should probably save some money and stop subscribing to his nudist magazines, because not even full colour full page spreads would be any competition with real life.

He can't help it, he looks, then looks more, then outright stares. He already knew BJ Hunnicutt had a pretty face, but  _mercy_. The rest of him sure as hell measures up. Legs that won't quit, an ass that makes Hawk think maybe there is a God after all, and a lean, strong back leading up to well-built shoulders.

BJ turns, and with an effort Hawk drags his eyes up to that pretty face. BJ looks amused. "Do I pass muster?"

Hawk practically chokes on his tongue at BJ's deadpan tone and entirely fails to come up with a snappy retort. It's taking all his effort not to gawk, not to drool, not to treat this like his own made-to-measure porn. To, if he's being honest, get a proper eyeful of BJ like he's wanted to since the beginning.

BJ rolls his eyes, affectionately amused. "For God's sake, Hawkeye. You can look."

Hawk's a little embarrassed to be so obvious, but not nearly embarrassed enough not to trail his eyes over BJ's chest, his stomach, and down to his crotch. And it's official: BJ Hunnicutt is beautiful all over. And hard.

Hawk doesn't - can't - think. He pulls open the partition between them, drops to his knees, and brushes his lips against BJ's cock. BJ lets out a soft sigh, stroking his fingers into Hawk's hair; Hawkeye takes that as permission. He runs his tongue up BJ's erection, then tenderly, carefully licks the head, and smiles when BJ bucks.

Hawk's going to enjoy this. A lot.

He sucks BJ into his mouth, slowly, savouring BJ's broken noises and the way BJ tugs on his hair. When he hums his own pleasure, BJ swears and bucks again, involuntarily pushing himself further in, but Hawk can take it, wants to take it, and can't stop himself from moaning like a two bit hooker as he draws BJ's cock in deeper and deeper, till he's managed to swallow it whole.

When he looks up, BJ's face is a model of stunned arousal and disbelief, his mouth hanging open and his cheeks red. Hawk chuckles. He'd say 'gag reflexes are for wimps' if he didn't have his mouth stuffed full of cock; instead, he winks.

" _Fuck_." BJ sounds wrecked, and Hawk's barely started. Hawk loves doing this, has always loved doing this, and doing it for someone he likes (whom he wants to impress) and hearing the grunts and swears he's prompting is even better.

He desperately wants to impress BJ, so he gives it everything he's got, loving on BJ with mouth and hands, then taking him in deep and savouring the startled whimpers BJ makes when his cock hits the back of Hawk's throat. BJ twists his fingers into Hawkeye's hair, yanks hard, and it's Hawk's turn to whimper. If he had a hand available he'd give himself some relief (he's so turned on he's aching), but he doesn't know if this is a one-off or not, so he's gonna give BJ the best blowjob in the history of sex or die trying.

Hawk's wanted to do this all day, all of yesterday, too - hell, if he could've swung them some privacy and BJ had been amenable, he would've done this in Kimpo for that stupid, perfect Coleman Hawkins pun that he loves BJ for and simultaneously wishes he'd come up with himself - but the reality of it is overwhelming. He has BJ Hunnicutt's cock in his mouth, and he doesn't remember the last thing he wanted more or the last thing he got that was so surprising and perfect and so much better than he dared hope. He doesn't want this to be the last time, he wants BJ to want to keep him like he wants to keep BJ, even if he doesn't think there's a single chance BJ could ever want him so very badly, so he gives it everything he's got.

BJ makes an even more delicious noise, his cock pulses in Hawk's grasp, and Hawkeye is nothing if not a showman, and God, he wants to impress BJ so damn much and he damn well will. He keeps up the motion with his hands but pulls his mouth off and arches back and lets BJ come over him, over his face and neck and chest. He's no fool, he knows he looks good doing this, he knows how sexual it looks, he knows it drove other lovers (it drove Trapper) crazy to see Hawkeye hard and naked and marked with their come.

BJ swears and shakes and grasps at Hawk's hair and the cubicle. "Fuck," he says again, "fuck, fuck, fuck," as he rides it out, chest heaving.

Hawk grins, and lets BJ pull him to his feet once he's done. BJ promptly pushes him into the back wall (Hawk hopes it's solid, he's never tested it with two men) and kisses him stupid, and Hawk is completely sure he's never going to get enough of naked BJ against his skin.

When they come up for air, BJ is still panting, but he's grinning widely. "Idiot," he says, breathless and amused.

"What?"

"You don't have to impress me, Hawkeye, I already like you."

Hawkeye doesn't know how to respond to that. Did he screw up?

BJ cups Hawk's jaw in one big, kind hand. "You don't need to bring out the porn star tricks," he says, laughter rippling in his tone.

"Didn't you-? I just thought..." Hawk grimaces.  _I thought you'd think it was hot_  sounds like something a teenager would say. "You didn't... like it?"

"No, that was - fuck, Hawk, that was amazing." BJ shakes his head and smiles wider as he wipes at Hawk's cheek. "You didn't need to do it, though. You don't need to show off. I- you just don't need to, okay?"

Hawkeye blinks. He doesn't know exactly what he's supposed to offer if showing off isn't on the table. It's his best move. "I wanted it to be good," he says, in a voice that's smaller than he intends.

BJ rolls his eyes again. Hawk has the feeling he's gonna be seeing that look on BJ's face a lot. "It  _was_  good. It was sexy as hell," BJ admits, "but..." He shrugs, apparently out of words, and instead he bends down and kisses Hawk full on the mouth, warm and deep and heartfelt.

Hawk wraps his arms around BJ's neck, lets himself sink into it. Fuck, he's so unbelievably screwed. He wonders if BJ realises how deep Hawk's in this, how incredibly out of his depth he is already. How damn frightened he is.

"Hawk," BJ murmurs against his lips, " _you_  are sexy as hell, okay? Just how you are. And I really like you. And you don't need to play a part to be sexy or to make me like you more, okay?"

 _Oh_. Hawkeye swallows. He doesn't know how to respond to that, he's not sure and daren't guess what BJ's trying to tell him, but even what he can let himself believe sounds too good to be true. Experience says he should be careful, and his heart wants him to dive in without a second thought, and the combination has his pulse pounding and his head light and dizzy.

BJ draws back and looks down at him, searching his face then smiling, apparently happy with whatever he found. He turns the shower on, soaps up his hands and starts to clean Hawk up, tender and careful, washing his own come off of Hawk's body, and Hawk hasn't a clue how to react to this kind of tenderness.

When his face is clean, BJ leans in to kiss him again, and keeps kissing him over and over even as he washes himself and Hawk down. Hawk could get used to this dangerously easily, to being looked after and kissed and held. BJ is so tall and so built, but his touch is gentle and thorough, he's being  _so_  damn careful. Hawk whimpers into his mouth and isn't even sure if it's arousal or pure emotion. Then BJ wraps his fingers around Hawk's cock and Hawk can't even think anymore.

He bucks into BJ's hand, wanting, needing more, needing desperately to come, cursing when BJ laughs softly, biting BJ's lip but only succeeding in turning himself on more when BJ swears. The kiss turns almost savage as Hawk finally comes, right in BJ's hand, and Hawk's knees turn to rubber. If it weren't for BJ's arm looped around him, his own arms clinging around BJ's neck, he's sure he would've fallen.

For some minutes (or it could be hours, Hawkeye really doesn't know), they stand there, breathing heavily, wrapped together so tightly Hawk isn't sure where he ends and BJ begins, and he's more and more afraid of how good this is and what he'll do when it (surely, inevitably) ends.

"God, Hawkeye," BJ says in a hoarse voice, "fuck, that was...  _fuck_."

Hawk has no idea how to reply. He's in so much fucking trouble. He's not supposed to feel this way after just a couple of days (he's not supposed to feel this way at all), he barely knows this man, but everything in him wants to fall and trust BJ to catch him, and it's terrifying.

They're foolish to still be standing here. Even at this time of day, there's no guarantee they won't be disturbed, and if Frank or Margaret were to find them like this, naked and in each other's arms, there'd be hell to pay. Hawk knows it's tempting fate to rest his forehead on BJ's shoulder, to listen to BJ's breathing, to enjoy BJ's warmth, but all he wants is to hold on tighter.

He's in love. He's a fool. And he's so completely screwed.

_~ fin ~~_


End file.
